Everyone dreams of meeting their special someone, but the world is awash with meet-cutes, and even meet-uglies, so here – have a prompt list of meet weirds, just in time for Valentine’s Day!
- “Do you believe in love at last sight?”
- “Pick a card – any card…no, not that one!”
- “No offense…full offense…but your dog would be way cuter if it weren’t peeing on my leg.”
- “No way, I grabbed that bouquet first – it’s mine!”
- “I see you’ve noticed my unusual companion…no pictures, please.”
- “Excuse me…I know the line ‘are you an angel cause you look like you fell from heaven’ is trite, but could you get up please? You’re kind of crushing me.”
- “Why are you stealing all of those bread sticks?”
- “Your dog is staring at me like it remembers me from a past life.”
- “Oh, yeah, ‘cause you sure look like you’re getting some nightly!”
- “What do you mean, they vanished into thin air?”
- “Are you a devil? Cause you’re setting me on fire. No. Literally. Stop.”
- “I don’t give a fuck about Valentine’s Day. Move or be obliterated.”
- “Look, I’ve already gotten fired today – I’ve got nothing left to lose!”
- “I can’t tell if you’ve actually got tentacles, or if I’m hallucinating again.”
- “You know, instead of pointing out that I’m drenched, you could have offered to share your umbrella, asshole!”
- “That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life – and I work at a baby animal rescue.”
- “No, I said turn left, not ri– hell, I think you just broke my nose.”
- “Mx., while the Fire Department does help with pets who’ve climbed trees…that is unmistakably a cactus, so please excuse my language when I say, respectfully: what the fuck?”
- “Please, I’ll pay anything, but I need a ride pronto – it’s my sibling’s wedding in ten minutes and I have the rings!”
- “You…shall not…PASS…oh, fuck, okay, you pass, just put that thing away, it’s pointy! Are you trying to kill me or something?”