We were in the mood for some silly fluff, so we cooked up the most awkward wedding proposal prompts we could think of.
- “Why is my face on the jumbotron? Why are you on one knee? Oh God, can the whole stadium hear me right now?”
- “This didn’t go at all like I planned.” “Which part – the downpour or the alligator?”
- “No.” “But I haven’t even–” “Stop. Just no.”
- “Oh my god – oh my god – does anyone here know the Heimlich maneuver?”
- “Why did you drive me to a church? We’re engaged? We’re getting married? Since when?”
- “Hey, you’re cute. Let’s get drunk and see if those Vegas chapels are as good as they say.”
- “Before I can be wed to thee you must answer me these riddles three.”
- “Okay, so…um…I really appreciate the whole song and dance…literal song and dance, wow…like, this was really something, but uh…no…I actually don’t want to marry you…ummmm…sorry?”
- “Grandma’s will says I can’t inherit unless I marry someone by the end of the month… wanna go for it?”
- “You could have warned me that marriage doesn’t grant citizenship in this country before I said yes…”
- “Wow, that was a really sweet proposal… I would LOVE to spend the rest of my life with you…but…technically…I’m kinda already married…?”
- “Darling…I love you…but we both know you’re clumsy as fuck, and maybe you should have considered that before pulling out a ring while kneeling beside the La Brea Tar Pits.”
- “Marry you?? We’re in high school! I want to go to college, get a job, and at least travel to another country before I marry the first person I’ve ever dated!”
- “How dare you?” “But…I proposed? I want to get married? To you?” “YES. THAT. HOW DARE YOU?”
- “What’s this?” “A list.” “Of…?” “Challenges you’ll need to complete before I agree to marry you.” “…what does stealing from a gnome have to do with marriage?”