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Dialog Prompts: Proposals Gone Wrong

We were in the mood for some silly fluff, so we cooked up the most awkward wedding proposal prompts we could think of.

  1. “Why is my face on the jumbotron? Why are you on one knee? Oh God, can the whole stadium hear me right now?”
  2. “This didn’t go at all like I planned.” “Which part – the downpour or the alligator?”
  3. “No.” “But I haven’t even–” “Stop. Just no.”
  4. “Oh my god – oh my god – does anyone here know the Heimlich maneuver?”
  5. “Why did you drive me to a church? We’re engaged? We’re getting married? Since when?”
  6. “Hey, you’re cute. Let’s get drunk and see if those Vegas chapels are as good as they say.”
  7. “Before I can be wed to thee you must answer me these riddles three.”
  8. “Okay, so…um…I really appreciate the whole song and dance…literal song and dance, wow…like, this was really something, but uh…no…I actually don’t want to marry you…ummmm…sorry?”
  9. “Grandma’s will says I can’t inherit unless I marry someone by the end of the month… wanna go for it?”
  10. “You could have warned me that marriage doesn’t grant citizenship in this country before I said yes…”
  11. “Wow, that was a really sweet proposal… I would LOVE to spend the rest of my life with you…but…technically…I’m kinda already married…?”
  12. “Darling…I love you…but we both know you’re clumsy as fuck, and maybe you should have considered that before pulling out a ring while kneeling beside the La Brea Tar Pits.”
  13. “Marry you?? We’re in high school! I want to go to college, get a job, and at least travel to another country before I marry the first person I’ve ever dated!”
  14. “How dare you?” “But…I proposed? I want to get married? To you?” “YES. THAT. HOW DARE YOU?”
  15. “What’s this?” “A list.” “Of…?” “Challenges you’ll need to complete before I agree to marry you.” “…what does stealing from a gnome have to do with marriage?”

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