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Meet Weird Story Starters

Everyone dreams of meeting their special someone, but the world is awash with meet-cutes, and even meet-uglies, so here – have a prompt list of meet weirds, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

  1. “Do you believe in love at last sight?”
  2. “Pick a card – any card…no, not that one!”
  3. “No offense…full offense…but your dog would be way cuter if it weren’t peeing on my leg.”
  4. “No way, I grabbed that bouquet first – it’s mine!”
  5. “I see you’ve noticed my unusual companion…no pictures, please.”
  6. “Excuse me…I know the line ‘are you an angel cause you look like you fell from heaven’ is trite, but could you get up please? You’re kind of crushing me.”
  7. “Why are you stealing all of those bread sticks?”
  8. “Your dog is staring at me like it remembers me from a past life.”
  9. “Oh, yeah, ‘cause you sure look like you’re getting some nightly!”
  10.  “What do you mean, they vanished into thin air?”
  11. “Are you a devil? Cause you’re setting me on fire. No. Literally. Stop.”
  12. “I don’t give a fuck about Valentine’s Day. Move or be obliterated.”
  13. “Look, I’ve already gotten fired today – I’ve got nothing left to lose!”
  14. “I can’t tell if you’ve actually got tentacles, or if I’m hallucinating again.”
  15. “You know, instead of pointing out that I’m drenched, you could have offered to share your umbrella, asshole!”
  16. “That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life – and I work at a baby animal rescue.”
  17. “No, I said turn left, not ri– hell, I think you just broke my nose.”
  18. “Mx., while the Fire Department does help with pets who’ve climbed trees…that is unmistakably a cactus, so please excuse my language when I say, respectfully: what the fuck?”
  19. “Please, I’ll pay anything, but I need a ride pronto – it’s my sibling’s wedding in ten minutes and I have the rings!”
  20. “You…shall not…PASS…oh, fuck, okay, you pass, just put that thing away, it’s pointy! Are you trying to kill me or something?”